First things first! Dainton from Dirty Sanchez is a God amongst us mere mortals! We are the crumbs and he is the biscuit! We are the pubes and he is the balls!

Erm, on a more serious note....He is just an awesome guy...He went out of his way to make sure that everyone at the Newport premier was having a great time, and he was a great host to the 4FT SOLDIERS throughout the whole night! Top bloke, and big thanks to him!

Anyways...the trip to Newport got off on a miserable note, starting with us driving at approximately 5mph down the motorway...the traffic was depressing and frickin unbeleeeeeeivable! A bit of panic set in as we convinced ourselves that we weren't going to even get to the premier! However, we soon turned our frowns upside down by stickin on a bit of Queen! Get in!!!! Nothin' goes down better than a bit of I Want It all! You knows it! Spurred us on it did! It was like our montage music! My only wish was that we had the Rocky soundtrack to really get us goin, but no such luck! Queen it was, and Queen did the job like a mudderfudder!

After a few hits of One Vision and A Kind of Magic, we arrange to meet Dainton in the foyer of the central cinema in Newport...when we get there the bloke and the rest of the sanchez boys are in top form! Posing for photos for anyone and everyone, and havin a laugh with all! We had a quick word and a few photos with Pancho, who was enjoyin the night to full effect and was smashed by 7pm..."Big or small, f*ck em all!" He says! Top guy!! He blames his stunted growth on his environmetal surroundsings. Bless!

After that, Daint sets us up with a bit of grub after our 4 hour journey and everyone crammed into the cinema...The guys introduced the flick and then we were off, watching one of the funniest and most horrible films ever! It was awesome! Hearin Get Laid blasting out over the 'pain auction' scene was just crazy! Cant wait to play that song to a crowd again! My fave part in the film? She-male roulette...Dainton tongues a man thinking its a girl...lush!

After the premier Dainton and the boys take us to Newport's Legendary TJ's venuebar...Pritchard tells us that its the place were Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain got married...Not a clue if thats true meself but i'll believe the man just cos he's wearing such spiffing cowboy attire! Him and Dainton also give us some priceless information on Contracts and the business! "Just make sure the contracts are small!" they both keep sayin... Fair enough! Gonna take that advice and stick by it for the future!

This is where the night starts to get a bit messy...and a little hazy! We down a few shots of sambooka and get crackin with the dancin! Highlight of the night was when the DJ stuck Get Laid on! People were goin nuts for it! As soon as he stuck it on Dainton came over and started rockin with us, singin the words and givin us the "Im not worthy" bow! It was ACE!

During the excitement I turn round to see what i believe is Pritchard with his cock out to someone, showing off his new tattoo which reads "I love Dainton" on his love pipe! Such a charming young man!

Two more sambookas and we are starting to slow down with the effects! An extra burst of life comes from the DJ stickin on some class tunes to keep the party goin that little longer! A few rockers tell us to get ourselves a gig down in Newport for the "Newport massive" and Dainton tells us that he'll help us get one. Rockin!

Then I pull myself a girly...awesome!

Before long the party is drawing to an end...as we are saying our goodbyes a few lads are attempting to impress Dainton by jumping into the rotating fans on the cieling of TJ's! Top marks for effort boyos.

Dainton thanks us for coming all the way down and invites us to get "smashed" with him and the lads when they take Dirty Sanchez on the road! We take a few more photos for our myspace and then we sadly have to get goin!

All in all, it was a top night had by everyone! The Dirty Sanchez boys are absolute legends, especially the Dainton! Gonna have us some more Sambookas with him and the lads when they are round our way soon!!

Viva la Sanchez!

Jim
4FT SOLDIERS