Goldie Lookin Chain - Manchester Academy 1 - 11.2.05

A few days previous, The GLC had been confusing Japanese crowds with their Chavs On The Piss hip hop karaoke. Eggsy had learnt that when accepting a gift in Japan you have to 1) Comment on how well they've wrapped it 2) Ask their permission to open it and most importantly 3) You've got to promise to give them some form of sex in return. It's a GLC World coming straight from Newport to Tokyo.

Back in Manchester we've experienced the GLC many times before and we've seen our fair share of Chavs receiving blowie's outside chip shops while finishing off a tray of chips and gravy. The Chav phenomena had reached such a point that Julie Burchill had made a TV Series comparing chav lynching similar to the mentality of those people who would attack "woggs" in the 50s & 60s. Whether she would see the GLC as 4 Real or a post-ironic satire remains to be seen?

The "Road To Rehab" tour is much the same one we saw next door at Academy 2 last year. Except now with a bigger budget, more Elizabeth Duke chains and more leisure wear than you take, we now get a backdrop with regular announcements of "Safe as F**k", "Smoke Draw" and to top it off a giant "PENIS" on "Your Mothers Got A Penis".

"Guns Don't Kill People, Rappers Do", "Half Man Half Machine" and "I Loves You Baby" hit the mark- old skool samples back up the rhymes which initially appear lazy, but are more surreal Weird Al Yankovic than one dimensional Ali G.

Several new songs are aired, but in true GLC style we're too wasted on White Lightning to notice. One stand track rhymes Kelly Osbourne with porn, but where was the much touted "Neon Racer" which  has Body kit rhyming with Claudia Schiffer taking a shit.

12 months since we first witnessed the GLC they're still f**king hilarious, spa. What the Yanks are gonna make of them next month when they take the Gang Of Newport to the Gangs Of New York is another matter all together.

Words: Alex McCann
Photos: Karen McBride

Following on from crowd pleasing festival appearances, sold out tours, hit singles and a top 3 album, Goldie Lookin Chain return to Manchester, just a few months since their last visit. Straight outta Newport, with an aroma of draw, cheep beer and even cheaper but oh so comfortable leisure wear GLC bring out the bling, sing and charm us like 21st Century Pied Pipers from the Valleys. Chants of GLC from similarly attired disciples of these 8 Welsh wonders are heard from every corner of this sweaty, alcohol fuelled predominantly male crowd.

With cries of "Newport's In Da House" from our friends on stage GLC treat us to a few non album tracks like "Shit To Me", which quite rightly diss' American crap like Alicia Keys, Jennifer Lopez and the endless, faceless conveyor belt of overrated r'n'b. It's vicious, funny, true and more importantly it's a damn fine choon. The Welsh Ali G, or Aled G if you prefer, Maggot had another rap dedicated to his wicked ways and rumbustious lifestyle. He's a wild eyed, lanky individual with an uncanny resemblance to a young Harry Dean Stanton (you know - the dude from Paris, Texas and Pretty In Pink). The crowd witness some of the worst displays of robotic dancing ever performed on a stage by a few of the crew (intentionally I presume) during the futuristic "Half Man Half Machine". Brand new songs "Short Term Memory" is described as like Craig David with tourettes, a possible taster from their next album perhaps. The guy with the longest beard in the gang takes lead vocal on a song which cheekily samples Sting, but with Mystikal he's "The Alchemist from Newport". Believe you me it's a lot better than it sounds.

The old favourites like "Rollerdisco" and their monster smash hit "Guns Don't Kill People Rappers Do" have real staying power (witty lyrics, unbelievable catchy choruses and inventive samples). "Hormone Replacement" is a saucy new track which manages to rhyme porn and Kelly Osbourne with panache, but ending their surprisingly slick, colourful and dare I say it, well rehearsed show, with "Your Mothers Got A Penis" is a stroke (forgive the innuendo) of genius.

Goldie Lookin Chain are not a novelty one hit wonder act many cynics thought. They're genuinely a group who deserve all the success they've had with the live experience being their finest hour yet.

Nicholas Paul Godkin


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